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Disclaimer
The following conversation between a believer and God is not meant to
represent a specific theology or theological truth. It represents one
believer's struggle and the response that believer represents as God's
truth for that believer and that believer alone.
I
love you, Lord.
I
love you back, my son. I love you more than you could ever understand.
I am
humbled. Although I am humbled, I am between a rock and a hard place. I
am in a vice and it seems the very spirit in me is being squeezed out of
me. Satan is punishing me with pain, depression, and my heart is so
heavy I think it will break in two. What is going on?
I
cannot give you all of the details but you are indeed being squeezed.
Satan is indeed trying to squeeze the life out of you by putting on you
many afflictions in your body and in your spirit. Satan is pushing on
you from one side and I am standing and building walls so you cannot
move on the other side. You are in a vice between Satan and between
me.
Why
are you permitting this? I call out to you but nothing happens.
Oh,
you are wrong. Much happens. When you call out to me and when you run
through your prayer list each day, much happens you cannot see. Just
because you do not get the physical and spiritual relief you want does
not mean nothing happens.
I have had a life full of being in a vice just like I am now. Most of
what I wanted and thought I needed has not come to me. As I have gotten
older, the squeeze on my physical body and on my spirit gets more and
more intense. There are times when I think I cannot take this any more.
Every
day you agree to this.
No.
I do not agree to be put in a vice and have the life squeezed out of me.
No one would agree to this.
Yes,
you do agree every day. Look at it this way. Every day you have a choice
of walking my path or your own path. Every day you make your choices.
Why do you pray to me every day?
I pray to you because I love you and I want all these people I pray
for to be touched and blessed by you.
Do
you have to pray to me?
No, I pray to you voluntarily.
See
what I mean? You make a choice to pray. In the same way, you make a
choice to follow my path, do my work, and be my child. What you are
experiencing in the vice you are in is persecution. You have a choice.
In fact, you have many choices. You can choose to walk my path each day
or walk your own path. What is it going to be?
I
choose your path. I will always choose your path, at least as long I am
able to make that choice.
See
what I mean?
Yes,
Lord, I see what you mean. But I don't like it. To live this way is more
than I think I can take.
Too
bad. Not to be cold, uncaring, or unloving, but you are making a
complaint about a choice you make each day.
What do I do?
You
need patience.
Patience? Patience and pain don't exactly go together.
Yes,
I know they don't. But patience is like a defense against Satan's
attack. As long as you are patient and unmoving then Satan can hurt you
but he cannot win out over you. As my child, pain is part of the reality
in your life. However, my burden of pain is light. I am here to help
you. I gave you a track for your life. I want you to follow that track.
Sometimes, when it seems you are truly boxed in, it is because I have
made the track you are in a tunnel from which you cannot escape except
by going Satan’s way.
It
has always been that way. All the things I wanted and have never had you
kept from me.
Yes,
I kept you from getting what you wanted. I kept you from getting what
you wanted so you would have what I wanted for you. Look back, and you
will see how blessed your life has been.
Yes,
most of the time, when I am not feeling so bludgeoned by this pain and
adversity, I truly feel blessed.
When
you really feel squeezed in, count your blessings and wait.
I
don’t like waiting. I am not always the most patient person.
Yes,
I know. You have to give me time and give yourself time.
I am not patient. I want to work all the time. I want to produce more
and more each day. When I hit these times when I am in a vice and I am
not producing much, I go bonkers here.
Yes,
I know, but think of these painful times as times I am using for my
glory. Eventually, you will see the fruit if what I am doing in your
life. Every person who follows me will be persecuted in some way. It is
a law. When you follow me, you must pick up your cross. Admittedly,
Satan does not play fair. He violates people and violates the rules on a
constant and consistent basis. I want you to be protected but keeping
you in the tunnel is the most I can do at the moment. Just remember to
keep pushing and be patient. Do as much as you can while you can. I love
you. In this time of trial and adversity, remember I love you. Let me
touch you as much as you can. Call out to me as much as you can. Even
when it seems we are apart, I am always with you.
Thank
you, Lord. I love you.
I
love you back, my son.
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