A factitious person, Mr. I. Doubt-it, is bringing this week’s message to us. As you will see, he never got it. Since Mr. Doubt-it is "slightly" misinformed about a number of religious issues and displays limited wisdom, we have inserted some applicable Bible verses at the end of this submission by Mr. Doubt-it. This submission should be taken in the dim and satirical light from which it comes. The positions stated by Mr. Doubt-it do not reflect the positions of anyone affiliated with this ministry. We make this statement as a disclaimer for any of you who might think we agree with Mr. Doubt-it’s remarks.

God Will Save Us….Won’t He?
By
I. Doubt-it

Thank you to Pastor Kelly for this opportunity to let someone else give a viewpoint. Pastor Kelly is O.K. but he is too much of a nut on this religious stuff he is into.

Even at the last minute, just as we are about to die, won’t God have pity on us and save us? Won’t God cut us a little slack? After all, He knows we are not all bad. We have done some good while we have been alive. O.K., so we have done some things we should not have done, we have made mistakes, and we’ve let things slide. But God is a good guy and He wouldn’t just let us sit in Hell would He? He will save us won’t He? He sent Jesus to save us and we know who Jesus is. We know who Jesus is because we celebrate Christmas with a tree in the living room and lights on the house, so how much more could we do? O.K., so we could be a little more spiritual about things but life is busy. We go here, we go there, we are always on the go. You know what I mean? Who has time to think about God every day? If we get sick we can go to the doctor and get a pill or go to the hospital and get a treatment. If we get real sick then we can pray and God will save us, won’t He?

Yes, we have sinned, but who hasn’t? We are all human, we all make mistakes, and we all sin. Everybody sins so what is the big deal? Just because we are sinners doesn’t mean we should be punished, does it? What is Jesus good for if He isn’t going to get us out of trouble and into heaven? Let’s be realistic here. There is sin and corruption in the world. And maybe things have gotten a lot more sinful in the last few decades. But who really cares about any of this? All the leaders we elect are corrupt and we can’t do much about that so why not just go with the flow? We could spend our whole lives trying to get a few people to be good religious folk and they wouldn’t buy into it, so why bother?

God isn’t really going to do anything anyway. Look at all the people who get by with all the drug dealing, stealing, lying, murder, rape, robbery, all the other stuff and who never get caught. We even elect people into public office and we know they lie and we elect them anyway. So, what good is God? O.K., so He is good to go to when we are in a pinch and don’t know where else to go. But anymore, we have so much technology and power, we don’t need Him that much. Instead of God, what people really need today is a good paycheck and more vacation time. Better health coverage, lower taxes, and a decent public school system ought to be on the list too.

A lot of families end up in divorce but people adjust to it. No problem. No big deal. Marriage vows were never really meant to be taken that seriously anyway. If a couple isn’t really serious about staying together, they can get divorced. God wants all of us to be happy doesn’t He? God is a good time guy isn’t He? God said, "Let the good times roll," didn’t He? It is in the Bible somewhere isn’t it? And the good times are rolling, because unemployment is way down, the market is way up, and everybody is investing.

So a few people are having a few problems but that is not any of our business. The best business is to mind your own business. See, today you do not have to be a good neighbor or help anybody out like you used to. The reason is that we have all these agencies. If somebody needs help today, they do not need us, and they do not need God. What people need today is a good government program. As much as we pay in taxes, let the government help people out and don’t bother the rest of us.

What we also need is for some of these religious fanatics like Pastor Kelly to tone it down. These religious people want abortion stopped, prayer in school, Ten Commandments in the school room, and everybody believing in God. These nuts need to get a grip. These people actually think God cares if people pray or not. They also believe that God will put you in hell if you do not repent and accept Christ. Like I said, these people are to fanatical about all this stuff.

They also believe if you give a kid some kind of moral lessons when they are young, the kid will be better off as an adult. What these nuts don’t get is that kids forget. When a kid gets to be 16, the kid could care less about the Ten Commandments. After all, you can tell your kids to not cheat or steal but kids will be kids and do it anyway, so why even bother. Every time the school calls you about your kid getting into trouble just tell them to bug off and then you ground the kid when the kid gets home or something. After all, if the school wants a kid to behave, let the school deal with the kid. Parents have enough to worry about without having to worry about teaching kids what to do and not do.

This whole God thing has gotten out of hand. As long as you put up a Christmas tree and put up a lot of lights on the house, what else is there? Now these religious people are trying to get morality in the workplace. The workplace does not need more morality. The workplace has been O.K. for a lot of years without people always trying to do a moral thing every minute. Sometimes you have to lie a little. Sometimes you have to cheat, just to keep your job. It’s a dog eat dog world and if you don’t eat your pound of flesh before they eat theirs, you are going to be dead. So just because you tell a lie, cheat, or steal now and then is no big deal. God doesn’t care about what goes on in the workplace anyway. Anyway, God is too old and the battery in His hearing aid went out.

Some of these morality freaks like Pastor Kelly and others of his ilk think the end is near. They think the world is going to come to an end. Who really believes that garbage and who cares? If I got a six pack in the frig, and a ball game on the tube I could care less. The world could end tomorrow but it won’t because we have got to much going for us. The market is setting all time highs and people are making money like never before. So what if there is a lot of corruption and immorality? There has always been corruption and immorality and the world is still here. Corruption and immorality don’t mean anything as long as the old paycheck keeps coming in.

What this country needs is a bigger government to help keep more people in line and let more people do more of what they really want to do. What we also need is a government to keep an eye on people like Pastor Kelly because you can’t trust people anymore. A little big brother from ol’ Uncle Sam wouldn’t hurt especially for those people who want to run everybody’s life for them like some of these religious folks or political conservative types.

I have my worries like anybody else. The doctor says I may not make it till the end of the year but I’m not worried because God will save me…won’t he? He wouldn’t just let me sit in Hell for a long time would He? God is a good guy isn’t He? I tell you what. This year I will put up more lights than ever at Christmas, if I make it to Christmas. That will be O.K. won’t it? I don’t really have to take this salvation stuff seriously, do I?

Comment: Mr. Doubt-it has perhaps heard the message of Christ’ redeeming love but the message did not sink in very far or perhaps bounced off into outer space. Many believers might find Mr. Doubt-it’s remarks humorous. What is not so humorous is that Mr. Doubt-it’s views are common. Perhaps in a perverse way, Mr. Doubt-it sadly reflects the prevailing dim view about God, Christ, salvation, and personal responsibility the world over. And yes, some of us do believe the day of judgement is near. PK