Because of the importance of the meaning and
message, this month, for the first time, we are posting the newest
conversation with God in the
message section. This conversation is also being posted in the
Conversations With God sub-site. To read other conversations go here. [Go]
The following conversation between a believer and God is not meant to
represent a specific theology or theological truth. It represents one
believer's struggle and the response that believer represents as God's
truth for that believer and that believer alone.
Good morning Lord. It's over Lord.
I cannot go on. I hurt. I ache. I am lonely. I am sick in my heart and
my body. My relationships are gone. No one cares about me. I am in the
deepest pit and I cannot get out. I don't even know if I believe in you.
Every moment is given to
you to shine out, but when you let the darkness run your life, there is
no light. When the darkness runs your life, where am I? The answer
is...I begin to not exist for you. When the darkness runs your life, you
begin to doubt and then you begin to think I do not exist. In every
darkness, you can let me in but if you are immersed in whining,
complaining, and thinking "woe is me" then I do not have much
of a chance to intervene for you. The same is true for the way you see
your future. When you look into the future and see only times full of
woe, then the darkness is running your life. My power is unlimited.
However, to preserve you as I created you to be, you must exercise the
power I gave you. I want you growing every second you are alive. I do
not want regression. I want advancement. When you let the darkness
devastate your attitudes, beliefs, and views of your world, you are not
advancing or growing.
Don't you love me? Where are the
Right now, you need a good
talking to. The love words will come later. You have been feeling sorry
for yourself. You don't want me to love you, you want me to pity you.
You want me to feel sorry for you so I will love you. I don't work that
way. You cannot find my love or find me by appealing to me with your
self-pity. If there is one thing the darkness wants, it is for you to
sit in the darkness of self-pity. When the pain comes, "it is not
over." When the pain comes, so what? This is the most important
question you will ever have to answer when the pain comes. The answer
for you right now to "so what?" is… "It is over, doom
So what? You say, "so
what?" to my pain??? What kind of God are you? Don't you love me
any more? Where is the love? Where is your compassion? What's happened
to you? You are God. You are supposed love all the time?
My child, I am teasing you,
in a way. I am love. I still love you like always. What I am trying to
do here is to get you to say to the pain, "So what?" The pain
must be nothing to you. The pain must not eat away at you like the pain
is doing right now. Every time you even think you will be attacked by
the darkness, you go into this "woe is me" mindset. You are
making yourself miserable. You are destroying yourself. You have begun
to lose your life and lose the battle against the darkness. I want
victory from you. Right now, all you can think about is the darkness and
all your problems. My answer of "so what" is to get you to see
how pain must be meaningless in its impact upon you. When pain impacts
you in a negative way, pain wins out. You must not let this happen.
But…but…aren't you supposed to
love me and make my darkness go away?
You want sympathy but to
what end? You must get to the darkness before the darkness gets to you.
I cannot help you unless you start helping yourself. I do not invade a
person's life. My love will only help you for the moment and not
permanently help you if you do not make up your mind to stop your
neediness. When you let the darkness do whatever the darkness wants to
do to you, for the people who need you, you become part of the darkness
because you are not showing my light. You need to see how important it
is to maintain your own house. You need to maintain your life, not just
for yourself, but for others.
But where is your love for me.
All I am is free to anyone
who comes to me. Right now, you are not really coming to me. You want me
to come to you and fix all your problems you could fix on your own. Let
me put it to you this way. In your case of so much self-pity, if you
want my love you have to do something. If you want me to help you, then
you have to earn it. Earn it by being my true child instead of being an
imitation child. You are not helpless, so stop acting like you are
helpless. Yes, you have problems and issues, but you must not let your
issues do bad things to you in your heart and mind. How you respond to
your pain, suffering, and adversity can be a blessing to me. When you
bless me, then you are in turn blessed. Stop whining. Stop complaining.
Start working. Just a simple "thank you" to someone who
desperately needs to know other people care is critical for them.
Am I being selfish here?
Yes, you are being selfish.
Satan wants you to be selfish. Satan puts pain on you. When Satan puts
pain on you, what happens to you?
When you hurt, are you
feeling selfish or unselfish?
When you hurt and you start
feeling like the world is going to end for you, see the meaninglessness
of your pain and say "So what?"
So, I am the one who is supposed to
say "So what?" when I hurt.
Oh. Yes, I see that now. Wow! I see what you mean. I am
sorry I am so dense. I love you Lord.
Yes. Once you begin to see
how the pain has no power, then my power can begin to work in your life.
Once you begin to see how the pain has no power, then you begin to see
how I really am a being of love who loves you.
I love you back my child