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Topic:
Buying Gifts For Men
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule 1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he
already has one. I have a friend who owns 7 and he has yet to complain.
As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule 2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey
George, can I borrow your ratchet? OK. By the way, are you through with
my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule 3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent
ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer, or something to hang from his
rear view mirror. (Because it is for his car you can bypass Rule 6) Men
love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule 4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
I was told once that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he
wouldn't have allowed the invention of Jockey shorts. (See also Rule 6)
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn
out.
Rule 5:
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little
picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and
flips. (If you give only the remote you can include a year's supply of
batteries to make this gift heavier, see rule 6.)
Rule 6:
Gifts for men should be heavy, if it is not heavy it is not a real gift,
see also Rule 4 for a partial list of some lightweight gifts to avoid.
It doesn't have to be large, just so it is heavy.
Rule 7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or
deodorant. I'm told they do not stink -- they are earthy.
Rule 8:
Buy men label makers almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple
of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks. Shorts.
Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one knows why.
(This is an obvious exception to Rule 6 and one of the few items on the
list of appropriate lightweight gifts for men.)
Rule 9:
Never buy a man anything that says some assembly required on the box. It
will ruin his Christmas and he will always have parts left over.
Rule 10: Good places to shop for men include Home Depot, Lowes, any
store with the word Lumber in it, John Deere, any RV Center, and any
Tire store, NAPA Auto Parts, Advance Auto, any store with the word Auto
in it. Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It
doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. From NAPA Auto, eh? Must
be something I need. Hey - isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane?
Wow Thanks.) (Also these are all good sources of nice heavy gifts.)
Rule 11
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook---but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the
gas line leaks. Oh the thrill! The challenge! "Who wants a
hamburger?"
Rule 12:
Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift. However, he will not
appreciate tickets to A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts. Everyone
knows why.
Rule 13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you
don't know why - please refer to Rule 8 and what happens when he gets a
label maker. Also refer to Rule 11. (This is also an obvious exception
to rule 6 and one of the few items on the list of Heavy items not to buy
your man.)
Rule 14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension
ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension
ladder. No one knows why.
Rule 15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least
the Boy Scouts. When in doubt go for the heaviest rope you can find.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8 manila rope. No one knows
why.
Attribution:
Data Source: E-mail
Article Author: Tony Campolo
Fair Use.
Presented for educational purposes only.
If these words have been a blessing, please forward them to a friend.
These words were posted at one of Shepherd's Care
Ministries Sites called Wisdom Minute, The site is located at:
http://www.findthepower.com/wisdomminute
Shepherd's Care Ministries Main Site located at:
http://www.findthepower.com/ |
